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    <title>topic Re: Sys-Admin Humor in Operating System - HP-UX</title>
    <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479422#M822207</link>
    <description>Hi&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;A hot air balloonist is hopelessly lost. He sees a park green with a man walking his dog and descends as far as he dare.&lt;BR /&gt;???Excuse me??? said the balloonist, ???can you tell me where I am, I promised to meet a friend an hour ago but I don???t know where I am???.&lt;BR /&gt;???You are approximately 30 feet off the ground at a position of between 40 and 41 degrees latitude by between 63 to 64 degrees longitude???.&lt;BR /&gt;???You must be an engineer???, says the balloonist.&lt;BR /&gt;???Yes I am??? says the man, ???how did you know????&lt;BR /&gt;???Well??? says the balloonist, ???the information you gave me appears to be technically accurate, however I have no idea how to interpret your information and the fact is that I am still lost. Frankly you have been no help to me at all???!&lt;BR /&gt;???You must be upper management??? says the man to the balloonist.&lt;BR /&gt;???I am??? says the balloonist, ???how did you know????&lt;BR /&gt;???Well??? says the man, ???you have risen to where you are due to hot air, and you have no idea where you are or where you are going to. You have made a promise that it was impossible to keep. You expect those below you to solve your problems, and the fact is that you are in the same position as you were before we met 30 seconds ago but now, somehow, it???s my bloody fault!???&lt;BR /&gt;</description>
    <pubDate>Mon, 19 Aug 2002 09:26:14 GMT</pubDate>
    <dc:creator>Paula J Frazer-Campbell</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2002-08-19T09:26:14Z</dc:date>
    <item>
      <title>Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479208#M821993</link>
      <description>I ran across this list the other day while looking for software for my new toy, uhmmm....I mean Palm Pilot.  I thought it was pretty good.  If you've seen it already, sorry.&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;Things you don't want your System Administrator to say&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;1. Uh-oh...&lt;BR /&gt;2. Oh S***!&lt;BR /&gt;3. What the heck?!?&lt;BR /&gt;4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?)&lt;BR /&gt;5. That's SOOOOO bizarre.&lt;BR /&gt;6. Wow!! Look at this...&lt;BR /&gt;7. Hey!! The Suns don't do this.&lt;BR /&gt;8. Terminated?!?&lt;BR /&gt;9. What software license?&lt;BR /&gt;10. Well, it's doing SOMETHING...&lt;BR /&gt;11. Wow...that seemed fast...&lt;BR /&gt;12. I got a better job at Lockheed...&lt;BR /&gt;13. Management says...&lt;BR /&gt;14. Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgeted.&lt;BR /&gt;15. What do you mean that wasn't a copy?&lt;BR /&gt;16. It didn't do that a minute ago...&lt;BR /&gt;17. Where's the GUI on this thing?&lt;BR /&gt;18. Damn, and I just bought that Coke...&lt;BR /&gt;19. Where's the DIR command?&lt;BR /&gt;20. The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.&lt;BR /&gt;21. I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.&lt;BR /&gt;22. what's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?&lt;BR /&gt;23. Do you smell something?&lt;BR /&gt;24. What's that grinding sound?&lt;BR /&gt;25. I have never seen it do THAT before...&lt;BR /&gt;26. I don't think it should be doing that...&lt;BR /&gt;27. I remember the last time I saw it do that...&lt;BR /&gt;28. You might as well all go home early today...&lt;BR /&gt;29. My leave starts tomorrow.&lt;BR /&gt;30. Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)&lt;BR /&gt;31. Hmm, maybe if I do this...&lt;BR /&gt;32. Why is my "rm -r *" taking so long?"&lt;BR /&gt;33. Hmmm, curious...&lt;BR /&gt;34. Well, MY files were backed up.&lt;BR /&gt;35. What do you mean you needed that directory?&lt;BR /&gt;36. What do you mean /home was on that disk/lvol? I umounted it!&lt;BR /&gt;37. Do you really need your home directory to do any work?&lt;BR /&gt;38. I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.&lt;BR /&gt;39. Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?&lt;BR /&gt;40. We're standardizing on AIX.&lt;BR /&gt;41. Wonder what THIS command does?&lt;BR /&gt;42. What did you say your (1)user name was...?</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 21:29:35 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479208#M821993</guid>
      <dc:creator>Patrick Wallek</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T21:29:35Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479209#M821994</link>
      <description>43.  Maybe a reboot will fix it...</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 21:34:41 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479209#M821994</guid>
      <dc:creator>Bruce Regittko_1</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T21:34:41Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479210#M821995</link>
      <description>44. I thought you had the password...</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 21:43:04 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479210#M821995</guid>
      <dc:creator>James R. Ferguson</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T21:43:04Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479211#M821996</link>
      <description>45. Just press this button marked 'off', right?</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 22:02:54 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479211#M821996</guid>
      <dc:creator>Maureen Gunkel</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T22:02:54Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479212#M821997</link>
      <description>Does this install script asks to continue before rebooting the system?</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 22:09:58 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479212#M821997</guid>
      <dc:creator>Curtis Larson</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T22:09:58Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479213#M821998</link>
      <description>which internet sites did you post your resume on?</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 22:12:58 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479213#M821998</guid>
      <dc:creator>Curtis Larson</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T22:12:58Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479214#M821999</link>
      <description>we can get one of those on ebay for alot cheaper</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 22:15:58 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479214#M821999</guid>
      <dc:creator>Curtis Larson</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T22:15:58Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479215#M822000</link>
      <description>To clean the floor in the data center, I need to unplug everything...</description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2001 22:22:56 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479215#M822000</guid>
      <dc:creator>Rick Garland</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-04T22:22:56Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479216#M822001</link>
      <description>Where did all these zombies come from?&lt;BR /&gt;The shutdown is hung, so I'll need to unplug it instead.&lt;BR /&gt;Damned DBA's!&lt;BR /&gt;What are these cute little switches on the back of the Jamaica's?&lt;BR /&gt;That backup running on the console wasn't moving, so I shut it off.&lt;BR /&gt;UPS...What's that for?&lt;BR /&gt;I hate all these mirrors, they just waste space!&lt;BR /&gt;There is nothing running on the box, so I can just switch it off.</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 01:57:29 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479216#M822001</guid>
      <dc:creator>Tim Malnati</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T01:57:29Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479217#M822002</link>
      <description>Sorry, had to delete your files. I needed more room for the alt.sex.bunny-rabbits newsfeed.</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 02:56:48 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479217#M822002</guid>
      <dc:creator>James A. Donovan</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T02:56:48Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479218#M822003</link>
      <description>Don't worry - I've got 248 points on the ITRC forums.</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 03:05:52 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479218#M822003</guid>
      <dc:creator>Bruce Regittko_1</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T03:05:52Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479219#M822004</link>
      <description>what does this big red switch do?</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 03:09:50 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479219#M822004</guid>
      <dc:creator>randy lee</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T03:09:50Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479220#M822005</link>
      <description>power on that cable ? Impossible... NNNNOOOOOOOO.....</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 06:37:30 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479220#M822005</guid>
      <dc:creator>Alexander M. Ermes</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T06:37:30Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479221#M822006</link>
      <description>We should start investigating about Y10K bug right now.</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 07:20:49 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479221#M822006</guid>
      <dc:creator>Dan Hetzel</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T07:20:49Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479222#M822007</link>
      <description>Hmmm ... when i do this under Windows it works ?!?&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;We don't need backups we have RAID.&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;What do you mean you can't find the backup tapes? What backup tapes?</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 09:17:16 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479222#M822007</guid>
      <dc:creator>Stefan Schulz</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T09:17:16Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479223#M822008</link>
      <description>Do you believe in gremlins?</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 09:27:46 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479223#M822008</guid>
      <dc:creator>Victor BERRIDGE</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T09:27:46Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479224#M822009</link>
      <description>True Story ! =&amp;gt;&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;After calling a customer up to troubleshoot a networking issue :&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;Qu  : more the file and tell me what the last entry in the file is ?&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;Ans : 78 %&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;needless to say it was a very very long call&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 09:33:20 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479224#M822009</guid>
      <dc:creator>Alex Glennie</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T09:33:20Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479225#M822010</link>
      <description>Customer couldn?t mount Oracle(pfs_mount)&lt;BR /&gt;Tried everything.&lt;BR /&gt;Last question can you take out the CD!!&lt;BR /&gt;Oops there is no ... !!!!!!!!!!!!&lt;BR /&gt;&lt;BR /&gt;Have fun</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 09:55:38 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479225#M822010</guid>
      <dc:creator>Darrel Louis</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T09:55:38Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479226#M822011</link>
      <description>It isn't a bug. It is a feature.....&lt;BR /&gt;</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 10:07:42 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479226#M822011</guid>
      <dc:creator>Sandor Horvath_2</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T10:07:42Z</dc:date>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>Re: Sys-Admin Humor</title>
      <link>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479227#M822012</link>
      <description>...works as intended...</description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2001 12:10:14 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://community.hpe.com/t5/operating-system-hp-ux/sys-admin-humor/m-p/2479227#M822012</guid>
      <dc:creator>James R. Ferguson</dc:creator>
      <dc:date>2001-01-05T12:10:14Z</dc:date>
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