topic Re: How true is this:- in Operating System - HP-UX

How true is this:-

Paula J Frazer-Campbell — Thu, 08 Jan 2004 11:49:21 GMT

Employment Ads:-

"Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train you.

"Casual Work Atmosphere" - We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up.

"Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time each weekend.

"Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must have an Eye for Detail" - We have no quality control.

"Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience" - You will need to replace three people who just left.

"Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Haven't heard a word from anyone out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on.

"Requires Team Leadership Skills" - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.

"Good Communication Skills" - Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it.

Paula

Re: How true is this:-

Mark Grant — Thu, 08 Jan 2004 11:59:31 GMT

May I add

"We consider our employees our most valuable asset" - We don't.

Re: How true is this:-

Todd McDaniel_1 — Thu, 08 Jan 2004 13:41:01 GMT

here is a good one for you sales oriented folks...

"You can write your own paycheck"--- translation is "your base salary rivals a waiter and you must bust your hump to break the poverty line."

Re: How true is this:-

Steven E. Protter — Thu, 08 Jan 2004 15:10:35 GMT

"Competitive Health Benefits" - You will have enough health coverage for yourself, but you will have to pay for those benefits if you dare procreate and have a family. The cost of these benefits will rise and in most years completely eat your meager annual raise.

Bitter?

SEP

Re: How true is this:-

Ravi_8 — Fri, 09 Jan 2004 00:19:55 GMT

"must be result oriented" - till now there are no results

Re: How true is this:-

Sanjay Kumar Suri — Fri, 09 Jan 2004 00:28:43 GMT

Paula

Very well said. Applicabe in entire gamut of industries.

sks

Re: How true is this:-

John Strang — Fri, 09 Jan 2004 03:47:45 GMT

"Must be able to Work on Your Own Initiative" - Management won't tell you everything they want you to do, but will moan like hell when you haven't done all they want.

John

Re: How true is this:-

John Carr_2 — Fri, 09 Jan 2004 04:15:06 GMT

Paula its far too true

John.

Re: How true is this:-

Mark Greene_1 — Fri, 09 Jan 2004 08:37:35 GMT

"Must have proven experience working in a colaborative environment" - we want to know you can survive working with backstabbing, credit seaking, blame laying goof-offs and still get the work done.

mark

Re: How true is this:-

Chris Wilshaw — Fri, 09 Jan 2004 09:16:29 GMT

"Must be enthusiastic" - Must be desperate for a job.

"rewarding career" - you may get the money, but you'll have no time to enjoy it. You may as well tell your family and friends not to invite you to anything ever again.

"challenging" - we've got an open line to the Samaritans.

"dynamic environment" - what do you mean change control?

"join our family" - we're a bunch of dysfunctional, inbred weirdos.

"Self motivated" - the money won't do it, and nor will your colleagues, the management, the business at large, the customers etc. Frankly, if you can get out of bed in the morning, we'll be impressed.

"team player required" - no, not one of the famous ones, you'll be one of those who's always stuck out of the way, and doesn't really do anything impressive. Of course, your work will be vital to the survival of those in more prominent positions (and their bonus cheques).

"able to work under pressure" - you'll be monitored constantly by nagging management, who believe that your ability is less than theirs. They'll be out to prove this by constantly passing their workload on to you, some of which is already past its deadline, then blaming you for not making the best use of your time.