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тАО02-10-2002 04:37 PM
тАО02-10-2002 04:37 PM
I think I found the source code to ENRON's Matrix program, written in COBOL, here's a sniplet:
IF COMPANY-IS-FAILING THEN
WHEN-NEEDED.
___MOVE ASSETS TO OFFSHORE-HOLDING-COMPANIES
___PERFORM SELL-OFFICER-STOCK THRU LIE-ABOUT-COMPANY-PERFORMANCE-TO-EMPLOYEES-AND-OTHER-STOCK-HOLDERS
___MOVE TRUTH TO BIT-BUCKET
___PERFORM PLEAD-IGNORANCE THRU PLEAD-THE-5TH-TO-SENATE
___MOVE FINANCIALS TO MANY-BOOKS
___PERFORM COOK-THE-BOOKS MANY TIMES
ELSE
___GOTO WHEN-NEEDED
END
PERFORM BOOK-FLIGHTS-OUT-OF-COUNTRY.
live free or die
harry
Solved! Go to Solution.
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тАО02-10-2002 05:01 PM
тАО02-10-2002 05:01 PM
Re: MATRIX
That's a good one :-)
It is Chinese New Year's Eve over today at Singapore. You just got my day started (now is 9:04 am) with a grin.
Steven Sim Kok Leong
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тАО02-10-2002 06:00 PM
тАО02-10-2002 06:00 PM
Re: MATRIX
This is the sort of humour that I need on a Monday!!!! :^))
Cheers
Michael
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тАО02-10-2002 06:41 PM
тАО02-10-2002 06:41 PM
Re: MATRIX
My wife and I were invited to a new years party last Saturday, but we got a little hammered Friday, and she can't go out two nights in a row.
Michael,
My Monday, starts in 7 hours, well meaning when I get up (5am) (it's almost 10pm here). Aren't we some strange people!
live free or die
harry
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тАО02-10-2002 08:54 PM
тАО02-10-2002 08:54 PM
Re: MATRIX
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тАО02-11-2002 01:18 AM
тАО02-11-2002 01:18 AM
Re: MATRIX
I am missing the "FILLER" statements - never seen a COBOL program without it.
You know, the part where the top management fills their pockets... :-)
Have a nice week,
Wodisch
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тАО02-11-2002 07:28 AM
тАО02-11-2002 07:28 AM
Re: MATRIX
Thanks for the smile Harry. :-)
mark
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тАО02-11-2002 08:03 AM
тАО02-11-2002 08:03 AM
Re: MATRIX
After compiling your ENRON program, some results came up like this:
# echo $ENRON
0
#echo $ENRON_LAYOFFS
system_panic: memory core dump
live free or die =))
Shiju
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тАО02-11-2002 09:11 AM
тАО02-11-2002 09:11 AM
SolutionCapitalism- You have two cows. You sell one cow and buy a bull. Your heard
multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them, invest your profits and
retire on the income from your investments.
Communism- You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you
all share the milk.
Enronism- You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly traded
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get
all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6
cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
secretly
owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows back
to
your listed company. The annual report states that the company owns 8 cows,
with an option on one more.
Thanks for the chuckle.
Kel
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тАО02-11-2002 09:17 AM
тАО02-11-2002 09:17 AM