Sys-Admin Humor

[Patrick Wallek]

I ran across this list the other day while looking for software for my new toy, uhmmm....I mean Palm Pilot. I thought it was pretty good. If you've seen it already, sorry.

Things you don't want your System Administrator to say

1. Uh-oh...
2. Oh S***!
3. What the heck?!?
4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?)
5. That's SOOOOO bizarre.
6. Wow!! Look at this...
7. Hey!! The Suns don't do this.
8. Terminated?!?
9. What software license?
10. Well, it's doing SOMETHING...
11. Wow...that seemed fast...
12. I got a better job at Lockheed...
13. Management says...
14. Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgeted.
15. What do you mean that wasn't a copy?
16. It didn't do that a minute ago...
17. Where's the GUI on this thing?
18. Damn, and I just bought that Coke...
19. Where's the DIR command?
20. The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
21. I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.
22. what's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?
23. Do you smell something?
24. What's that grinding sound?
25. I have never seen it do THAT before...
26. I don't think it should be doing that...
27. I remember the last time I saw it do that...
28. You might as well all go home early today...
29. My leave starts tomorrow.
30. Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
31. Hmm, maybe if I do this...
32. Why is my "rm -r *" taking so long?"
33. Hmmm, curious...
34. Well, MY files were backed up.
35. What do you mean you needed that directory?
36. What do you mean /home was on that disk/lvol? I umounted it!
37. Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
38. I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.
39. Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?
40. We're standardizing on AIX.
41. Wonder what THIS command does?
42. What did you say your (1)user name was...?

[Bruce Regittko_1]

43. Maybe a reboot will fix it...

[James R. Ferguson]

44. I thought you had the password...

[Maureen Gunkel]

45. Just press this button marked 'off', right?

[Curtis Larson]

Does this install script asks to continue before rebooting the system?

[Curtis Larson]

which internet sites did you post your resume on?

[Curtis Larson]

we can get one of those on ebay for alot cheaper

[Rick Garland]

To clean the floor in the data center, I need to unplug everything...

[Tim Malnati]

Where did all these zombies come from?
The shutdown is hung, so I'll need to unplug it instead.
Damned DBA's!
What are these cute little switches on the back of the Jamaica's?
That backup running on the console wasn't moving, so I shut it off.
UPS...What's that for?
I hate all these mirrors, they just waste space!
There is nothing running on the box, so I can just switch it off.

[James A. Donovan]

Sorry, had to delete your files. I needed more room for the alt.sex.bunny-rabbits newsfeed.

[Bruce Regittko_1]

Don't worry - I've got 248 points on the ITRC forums.

[randy lee]

what does this big red switch do?

[Alexander M. Ermes]

power on that cable ? Impossible... NNNNOOOOOOOO.....

[Dan Hetzel]

We should start investigating about Y10K bug right now.

[Stefan Schulz]

Hmmm ... when i do this under Windows it works ?!?

We don't need backups we have RAID.

What do you mean you can't find the backup tapes? What backup tapes?

[Victor BERRIDGE]

Do you believe in gremlins?

[Alex Glennie]

True Story ! =>

After calling a customer up to troubleshoot a networking issue :

Qu : more the file and tell me what the last entry in the file is ?

Ans : 78 %

needless to say it was a very very long call

[Darrel Louis]

Customer couldn?t mount Oracle(pfs_mount)
Tried everything.
Last question can you take out the CD!!
Oops there is no ... !!!!!!!!!!!!

Have fun

[Sandor Horvath_2]

It isn't a bug. It is a feature.....

[James R. Ferguson]

...works as intended...

[Berlene Herren]

True story:

Q: Can you ping that address?

A: I am not familiar with that concept.

Berlene

[Rob Mallard]

Well, I just learned something not to do!

Wait! What version are we running on this box again?

Trust me.

[paul courry]

Hmmmmmm....... Let me go get my tools.

(Beware of sys admins bearing tools)

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Hi

How about "I never did anything it just happened"

[Shannon Petry]

How about
Oh I forgot about that in HP-UX ==>or (SunOS, AIX, IRIX, SCO)

And
I'm restoring a file for a user. He is not sure what it is called though....

And
I tried to tar to the DLT but thats OKay cuz backup tapes are protected right?


Very nice thread!

Shannon