Sys-Admin Humor

[Dave Wherry]

"I just turn my PC off every night and it never hurts anything".

This was a shop where we had several 7xx workstations. They looked like PC's.

[Seth Patterson]

Sybase? Oracle? No, I don't play video games.

[Ovidiu D. Raita]

1. It shows up in the syslog ...

2. What does HPMC stand for?

3. Hello, the system looks like a fridge but you have to open it at the back... Do you hear meeee ...!?!? Damn these phones!!! ... Please speak up and don't move! What? To many cables? They look the same? ... Ufff ... OK I'll book a ticket right away. See you ...

Ovidiu

[Steven Sim Kok Leong]

Hi,

The problem solving methodology that I dislike most from customer support engineers (across vendors) are "typical solutions" such as:

1) Try installing the latest patches.
2) Try re-installing the application.
3) Try upgrading your application.
4) Try installing the application on another identical machine.

Well, at least they never ask me to setup another identical server room and see if the geomancy is a cause of the problem.

Regards.

Steven Sim
Brainbench MVP for Unix Admin
http://www.brainbench.com

[Manju Kampli]

try rebooting .. it may fix the problem

[Stefan Farrelly]

I just love it when after long discussions with the ITRC and weve already got the latest patches etc on our server but still dont fix the problem, they come back and say;

weve tested it on a server here at the ITRC and we cant recreate the problem

!@#$%^&*()

[John Waller]

Did it work yesterday, yes, well what have YOU done.

It'll just take a couple of minutes to reboot (when you have a K570/4 or N4000/4 servers)

Well I can login as root

Are you sure you wanted me to do that

NO not that cable

True story

Question to a cutomer: Where did you put the box of media and licences

Customers answer: Oh I put it in the skip as I didn't think it was needed anymore.

[Suhas_2]

HP-UX, what's that ?...;-)

[Suhas_2]

Shall I tell you your passwd.....
it is ....09ufnk8fc894.....i found it in /tcb/files/auth
...;-0(

[Mike McKinlay]

Well, I can't think of anything else to try, so you might as well reboot ...... NO! WAIT!

---
It works on my system.

---
It's probably a network problem. Call Network. Call me after you've talked to them.

---
You mean this isn't the power plug for that? Hmm. I wonder what it's for, then.

---
I don't know what your problem is.

[Devbinder Singh Marway]

Can you send me a copy of the disks.
What is your fax number ??

[Patrick Wallek]

Rick,

That is PRICELESS!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! I hadn't planned on giving anyone 10 Points in this thread, but that deserves it.

WHERE did you get that?!?!?

Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.

Patrick

[CHRIS_ANORUO]

Patrick you are right that Joke is made in dream world! What sense of humour and coordination?

[Eric SAUBIGNAC]

You have just received the "Corsican" virus.

As we, the Corsicans, have no experience with software
development, this virus works with the principle of
the honor

So you have to send this message to all members of your
address book, then to delete all the files stored in your
hard disk.

Thank You

[ Corsica is a French island. The Corsicans are famous
for their nonchalence and their susceptibility ]

Eric

PBFWME : Please Be Fair With My English

[Rick Garland]

Patrick:

Here is the link.
http://packetstorm.securify.com/unix-humor/hp.lunch.htm

[Patrick Wallek]

Thanks for the link Rick.

[Steffi Jones_1]

Here is another true story:

cust calls in to support and claims that he can't print to his printer.

After troubleshooting the printer for a while he tells me that the computer room is on fire.
I -of course- think that he meant that they have more severe problems, but he tells me that there are flames coming out the door.

Printer problem was fixed by replacing the entire equipment which they lost in the fire.

[Joanne Keegan]

I'm sure I logged on to the right system before I ran that command...

[Bill Hassell]

Only the old timers know this but "Lunch, the HP Way" is pushing 20 years old about now. Of course, I wouldn't have any firsthand knowledge of this (because then I would be an old timer) but legend has it that this was created in the late 1970's or early 1980. HP is known for consistency (if not perhaps for ease in ordering things).

[Michael F. Dick]

Well, and here something for our wndooze friends...

What does Windows stand for ??

It's an old apache dialect, and stands for white man is sitting in front of the screen and staring at the hourglass.

[Jimmy Rogers]

True Story:

y2k consultant: OK, what's this HP Predictive Software? It's not on my list of y2k compatible software, it will have to be removed.

SA: What??? If you think I'm taking Predictive off my boxes you're outta your @##%*&! mind!

[Marc Dijkstra]

How about the sysadmin that cleverly issued a landiag->reset on a 100VG ANYLAN card on the *backup* server (yeah right!)and shut down the largest coal terminal in the southern hemisphere.....?

Yep, we all have off days? On days like that, one should consider taking up ballet....

[Lai Nee Shyang_1]

Place : Singapore

U won't want ur administrator to do this " date -u 021919002001" and tell u "I thought -u stands for update"

[Alex Glennie]

see http://www.techrepublic.com/article.jhtml?id=r00320010208dra02.htm