b,SWhat Command Would You Like to Seeb,}.

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Hi to all,

As the festive season approaches it is time once again for our wish list, and this years theme is ???What Command Would You Like to See???.

One of my favourites is :-

fireuser ???

Man fireuser
fireuser ???(IP)

- I Instantly remove the user from the company.
- P Prevent user from ever gaining employment where keyboard is used.


Over to you all

Paula

[Alex Glennie]

Kill -customer ;)

So here's wishing you all a Merry Xmas and the very best for the New Year.

Thanks Santa just install in under /sbin.

and while your there how about pay(1) or more to the point #renice pay

[Andreas D. Skjervold]

Hi

The ultimate command: fixit

man fixit

fixit [-wza][-s]

-w : fix weather, may be used with -s option
-s : fix sun (as we are north of the arctic circle, its quite dark at the moment)
-z : fix sleep (as my newborn kid is keeping me awake)
-a : fix all my L-class servers that keeps beaking down

From the Cold Northern part of Norway!

Andreas

(as you might have guessed there is a raging blizard today!)

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Andreas

Say Hi to Santa for me.

Weather in London is quite nice at the moment and the big yellow thing is shining.

Paula

[Michael Tully]

Hi,

how about stuffit

man stuffit

stuffit [-p -h -nh -dc smb]

-p piss off I'm asleep under the desk
-h the helpdesk is somewhere (see -p)
-nh not here gone on holidays
-dc don't care gone to the pub!
-smb don't like it, see my boss who is also on holidays

As you can see I am on holidays for two weeks
starting Friday!

Have a GREAT CHRISTMAS and NEW YEAR!!!!

Nice thread Paula!

[Madhu Sudhan_1]

In case if I see less system resources, I would like to say
command

fillit(1S)

ofcourse it is speech recognised.

:)

[Steven Sim Kok Leong]

Hi Paula,

man command-create

command-create allows the system administrator to create any command that he or she would like to see on the system.

Merry X'mas :) Regards.

Steven Sim Kok Leong
Brainbench MVP for Unix Admin
http://www.brainbench.com

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Steven that was an easy way out.


;^0

Paula

[Steven Gillard_2]

Steven,

That command already exists, its "cc" which of course is short for "command-create" :)

Cheers,
Steve

[Volker Borowski]

Hi Paula,

I'd like to have "stty autohelp" in /etc/profile.

Another real help would be: voice2cmd
with
-f[rom] [desk|phone]
-t[arget] hostname

and a second one: highlighter[ror]
with
-f any_logfile_to_be_analyzed
-o[utput] [boldface|red|blinking|all_of_them]

:-)
Volker

[Ian Dennison_1]

I would like to see the 'eduse' (Educate User) command, with the following options,....

-d(umb) = you are not a techie (for the user who thinks because they have a PC, they know what they aer talking about)
-p(lan) = proper planning prevents blunt trauma inflicted by IT staff (for the manager who drops work on your desk at 16:55hrs)
-a(uth) = just because you say so does not mean it is possible (for the manager who believes their command overrides the reality of the situtation)
-b(reath) = you are not worthy of drawing oxygen (any consultant who got their job by knowing someone, not something).

Do I sound bitter? Share and Enjoy! Ian

[Michael Acosta_1]

Well, I just HAD to post on this one...

./bofh [-w] [-h] [-k] [-r] [-a] [-e]

-w -> Write protect /home for a random amount of time.

-h -> Halt the system immediately after sending out a "System shutdown in 20 minutes" message.

-k -> Kill users (self-explanitory)

-r -> Execute selected options at random times (best used with "-a" option)

-a -> cycle through list of all of the above

-e -> Automatic excuse calendar to explain the events above...

{ No, I'm not always like this, but tonight has been especially rough... }

[Andreas D. Skjervold]

Paula:

If Santa has the tiniest bit of sanity left, he'll stay in front of his cozy fireplace until summer. (Or at his summer resort down in Bahrain)

But eventualy he'll have to do his job, as the rest of us, so I guess I'll be seeing him this year as well.

Look out for the UV-rays!

Andreas

Happy X-mas for all!

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Hi

I found this one -

BOSSKILL(8) MAINTENANCE COMMANDS BOSSKILL(8)


NAME
bosskill - send a signal to your boss, or terminate your boss

SYNOPSIS
bosskill [ -signal ]

DESCRIPTION
bosskill sends the TERM (terminate, 15) signal to the boss with the specified bossname. If a signal name or number preceded by `-' is given as the first argument, that signal is sent instead of terminate. The killed boss must be in the system administrator's supervisory chain.
The following is a list of all signals with names as in the include file :

SIGHUP 1 hangup. Forces bossname to re-read his/her job description and figure out that he/she knows squat about sysadmin work or life, in general.

SIGINT 2 interrupt. Prevents the bossname from interrupting the sysadmin for one hour.

SIGQUIT 3 quit. Causes the boss to quit his/her job with no explanation.

SIGILL 4 illegal instruction. Makes the boss believe the last instruction he/she gave was illegal, so he/she withdraws it.

SIGTRAP 5 trace trap. Display the exact location of the boss.

SIGABRT 6 abort. Makes the boss go home and try again tomorrow.

SIGKILL 9 kill. Game over.

SIGBUS 10 bus error. Boss's transportation fails on the way to work.

SIGSEGV 11 segmentation violation. Boss realizes he/she is trying to do something for which he/she is not quailified and stops.

SIGSYS 12 bad argument. Boss loses.

SIGPIPE 13 smoke pipe. Boss samples some green leafy substance and mellows out.

SIGALRM 14 alarm. Boss is startled and falls over. Best used when boss is walking next to his/her boss.

SIGTERM 15 termination signal. Boss is fired.



BUGS
Sending a SIGABRT to a boss that is already home will cause him/her to walk aimlessly in circles for two hours.

HISTORY
Written by Eric L. Pederson

[Alan Casey]

One more:
man sysadmin

SYSADMIN(1) USER COMMANDS SYSADMIN(1)

NAME
sysadmin - responsible for everything imaginable that may or may not have to do with the system you're using. Contraction of "system" and "administrator"

SYNOPSIS
sysadmin [-ab] [-cd] [-ef] etc......


DESCRIPTION
sysadmin takes care of everything, is generally harangued, must be supplied with coffee, chocolate, and alcohol in order to function properly, cannot be exposed to direct sun- light, and must not be allowed to have a life.
sysadmin is not intended as a user interface routine; other programs provide user-friendly front ends; sysadmin is used by everyone who can track him [her] down.

With no flags, sysadmin reads its standard input up to an EOF, or a line which sysadmin wishes to parse, and then proceeds to ignore it entirely and read news all day. When invoked with the -w option, sysadmin reads standard input and responds according to terms of job description.

OPTIONS
-bofh Go into Basket Operator From Hell mode. This option causes sysadmin to use tools stored in the /usr/lib/bofh directory to parse the standard input and route user tasks appropriately.

-cd causes sysadmin to become caffeine-deprived, resulting in system slowdowns.

-b causes the sysadmin to function normally while augmenting the standard input with beer(5). Can be used with the -t option as well, depending upon which version of sysadmin you are running.

-t causes the sysadmin to smoke tobacco, which can result in significant performance improvement, provided you are running the correct version of sysadmin.

-Cfile Specify an alternate configuration file (sysadmin.cf is the standard).

-dX set debuggin value to X.

-fFullname Set the full name of the sysadmin.

-Bf Create the sysadmin.cf configuration freeze file.

-lname Sets the name of the "luser" person (that is, originator of a given request). -l can only be used by "trusted" users (who are listed in sysadmin.cf).



NOTES
The -t option should not be used with a version of sysadmin which is not capable of parsing tobacco input. Though the functionality of this command may seem similar to the -b option, it should not be confused with that or the related -c option.
BO

[George_Dodds]

Michael its not classed as 'asleep under the desk'.

The technical term is:- I'm checking the cables. :)

May 2002 bring less hassle and cheaper beer.

[Eugen Cocalea]

Hi,

man makemehappy

SYNOPSIS:

makemehappy [-r <$lev>] [-p ] [-b [] []] [-k []] [-a]

DESCRIPTION

makes you happy.

flags:

-r : raises your salary to the level you specify.

-p : automagically find the solution and post an answer to any question on itrc forums. Also automagically assign 10 points for the answer.

-b : sends you, via snail-mail, one -bottles pack of Tuborg, at every days. Defaults to 6 and 1.

-k : kills (now, KILLS), the you specify. Defaults to random. Not implemented yet. Krupp didn't send us the 'hardware' for testing purposes.

-a: equivalent to all of above, with default values. It IS the default, if 'makemehappy' command is not provided any argument.

WARNINGS:

using -r flag with a too big value may cause your process to be killed and another process (with your company as a parent) to be filed. Your salary may then turn negative.

-p flag must be used with care. Having "reach the 'JRF' limit" as a goal may cause your process to use all your CPU power and eventually the whole memory. Massive swapping of work with reading docs may occur this could leave to your parent process (company that pays you) to kill your process.

-b flag may cause fat and memory loss. You might not remember when your youngest child was conceived, which may lead (again?) to unwanted processes.

-a : use with care. random, after all, means random and the id checking is not meant to protect you against the command.

AUTHOR

Zbang (zbanguspreparatus@yahoo.com)

SEE ALSO

life(0)


E.

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Hi Eugen,

I see you mentioned Krupp,

I used to work for them but I'm better now.

;^)

Paula

[George_Dodds]

#mail worstuser@thisplace.com < yourfired.txt

[Ian Dennison_1]

Commands I would like to see,....

'undo', also 'undelete'. Self-explanatory, really.

Share and Enjoy! Ian

[Jeff Machols]

#remove_stupid_users -all

[harry d brown jr]

rtfm(1)

NAME

rtfm - find manual information by keywords; print out a manual entry

SYNOPSIS
rtfm [-s] [-g] keywords...

DESCRIPTION
rtfm accesses information from the HP-UX manual pages. It can be used to:

+ list all manual entries by searching the actual manual pages.

The following rtfm options are available:

-s use soundex search

-g guess what the user is looking for (randomly display solutions)

If no keywords and options are supplied, then the user is immediately logged off. The Authors felt that if the user did not know what to search for, then there was no use in spending any more cpu cycles on them.

*** Caution, this command should only be used by inexperienced users, as they are known for not rtfm'ing.

AUTHOR

rtfm was developed by the snafu org. They can be contacted at their web site: http://www.1112.net/lastpage.html



live free or die
harry

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Hi

I have a command (script) called:-

"leave-me-alone"

which walls the users, stops all x25 connections, swaps out the password file, stops the inet connection and then picks off the users one by one and zaps them.

It is so nice at times to have the prime 24/7/365 server to youself.

BTW Ian if you want an undelete then write a wrapper script around rm which first copies the file to an undelete dir which has a log of the wrapper script and logs the home dir of the file removed.

Paula

[John Bolene]

Hey Michael, there is already a stuffit on the Mac (file compression/library program).

Ohh Alan, more info than I needed to know. Grin

I want "man" to be made smarter and return an index into what it thinks I want. It is too hard to find what you want unless you already know what you want, seems self-defeating.

In this reguard, I setup a HTML website with all the man information and can easily do a search on the pages. But man should be smarter.