Personal Quotes

[Deepak Extross]

"Beware the wrath of sysadmins for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup"

This one's basically a rip-off from J.R.R.Tolkien's 'Lord of The Rings' epic saga. The first book, if I remember right - Fellowship of The Rings.

[Deepak Extross]

Some of my favorite taglines:
(stolen from a buddy, of course)

"The manual said 'Windoze 95 or better'...so I used Unix"

"windoze is nintendo with a keyboard"

"As I entered the office, I could tell I was entering M$ territory...from the gentle hum of rebooting desktops"

[Wodisch]

And for myself: Dan, give me that button to correct my replies, PLEASE!!!!!

[Ron Irving]

I saw a t-shirt once, in response to the MADD, (Mother's against drunk drivers,) group. DAMM: Drunks against MADD mothers.

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Tee Shirt :-

SEX INSTRUCTOR

1ST LESSON FREE.


;^0

Paula

[Ian Dennison_1]

Best Tee Shirt I ever saw,.....

Very Pregnant woman wearing a large T-shirt, on the belly area a cartoon of a port-hole with water behind and a baby's face pressed against the glass looking out in curiousity / amazement.

[Roger Baptiste]

Not exactly a personal quote :-

Why was the 2 piece bikini invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

-R

[Jason VanDerMark]

Here is my favorite quote, don't know if I made it up or I adapted it from someone.

"Reallity is 99% perception and 1% fact"

As to a response to the funny t-shirt post. I have seen one that says:

"I am a explosives expert. If you see me running, try to keep up."

Regards,
Jason V.

[Wodisch]

Hello again,
just found this in the mailing list of my Linux-PDA (Agenda Vr3d):

The only secure computer system in the world is unplugged, locked
in a vault at the bottom of the ocean and only one person knows
the location and combination of that vault. And he is dead.

and for the T-shirt fans:
At one of the EUUG meetings in the 80's I have seen one with something like "And god said ", now imagine some weird formula about Planck's quantum and photons, then "and there was light"...

[Mary Ann Lipa]

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates circa 1981


"If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."
-- Bill Gates on the solid code base of Win9X

hey! just found this on:
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Vista/8009/index1.html
;-)
d_b

[Trevor Dyson]

Project Management:

"On time, On Budget, To Specification.....pick any two"

[Frank Slootweg]

Really personal:

"Nothing is better than something else."

Others:

Please note that my signature has a negative number of lines so if the

Backup not found (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?

Q. Which is the greater problem in the world today, ignorance or apathy?
A. I don't know and I couldn't care less.

Reading the manual is admitting defeat.

There are three things I always forget. Names, faces -- the third I can't remember.

If I wanted cute, I'd have got a kitten and a ball of wool.

Want some cheese with that whine?

echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq' | dc

As H.L. Menken said "Every complex problem has a simple, easy to understand incorrect solution."

Some mornings I wake up Grumpy
Other mornings I let her sleep

I'm not too interested in caller ID. But caller IQ, I'll pay a lot for that!

It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

best viewed with your eyes open and a computer

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

[Bill McNAMARA_1]

love the echo ... |bc
you should try it!!!!!!!!!!!!

rotfl

Later,
Bill

[George_Dodds]

A few more out of the pot:-

-Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

-I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

-I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

-Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

-What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

-No, my powers can only be used for good.

-I don't work here, I'm a consultant.

-My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

-I pretend to work, They pretend to pay me.

-How do I set a laser printer to stun?

-Earth is full, Go home.

[Anthony deRito]

Wodisc had my all time favorite... I really laughed at this one...

"Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]"

Here's another...

"Its not a problem. What you are looking at is something that is projected on the back of your eye silly. It's not the real thing. Look again later."

Tony

[Marcin Golembski_1]

There is always one more bug.

[Patrick Wessel]

The e-mail footer of a coworker:
"As long as you don't violate your mind you will never succeed in your job" ALBERT EINSTEIN

[Pete Randall]

"It's not a bald spot, it's a solar collector for a sex machine"

Pete

[Jeff Schussele]

Boy Pete, you had to dig for this one....

"I am not a crook" Richard Nixon

Yea sure.....Seems you're getting a lot of CEO/CFO company these days Dickie....

Jeff

[Nick Wickens]

I guess not personal quotes but I love the Haiku error messages so its worth listing them here for others to enjoy (Or incorporate into scripts !!!)

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

[Duncan Edmonstone]

Probably my favourite, I'm sure you've heard it many times before:

"To do is to be" ~ Plato.

"To be is to do" ~ Sartre.

"Do-be-do-be-do" ~ Sinatra.

Cheers!

Duncan

[Pete Randall]

Jeff,

I was digging for Paula's change control procedures and got sidetracked.

;^)
Pete

[Mark Greene_1]

I've been collecting these from e-mails and usenet postings for the last 5 years or so:

http://members.aol.com/prgrmr/bestsig.html

enjoy!
mark

"The future will be a lot like now, only later."

[Ian Dennison_1]

Seen on the T-shirt of a Military Armourer (Weapons and Demolitions Specialist),...

Peace through Superior Firepower!

Share and Enjoy! Ian