Wouldn't it be neat to own a monkey?

[Jasper Verweij]

I just received a CV from a potential monkey,

he has uploaded as well, take a look http://www.billustration.com/bushmonkeys.html

Although his last actions were very strong, I still have some doubts whether or nor he is capable enough to handle my delicate issues...

His English seems not his best point as well...

Jasper

[Sachin Patel]

Hi Jasper,
You can hire right side. I will love to work for Left side. Atleast he is capable to stand against whom no one even speak.

Sachin

[Edward McCouch]

I would definately send the monkey to the meetings I have to attend with the management, but that would be considered abusive to animals and I don't want PETA petitioning the Data Center.

[G. Vrijhoeven]

I think it is a bat idea, so my answer is no
:( it would not be neat.
Think about it for a minute.

It would we neat to own two :) so you can bread more and sell us some.

[John Perez]

Hmmm... I recall reading that monkeys have many times greater strength:weight ratio than humans; that is, some little chimp can really wreck your day. I tried to look up the exact numbers and stumbled onto this discussion of the monkey's significance in Hinduism:

"Hanuman, the mighty ape that aided Lord Rama in his expedition against evil forces, is one of the most popular idols in the Hindu pantheon. Believed to be an avatar of Lord Shiva, Hanuman is worshipped as a symbol of physical strength, perseverance and devotion."

So if I owned a monkey, I'd have either (a) a muscle-bound time bomb, or (b) offend a divine figure in some folks' view.

Either way, I lose. No thanks.

[S.K. Chan]

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[Marco Paganini]

Hey Tim,

My boss was asking the same question a while ago. Then he hired me...

I should ask him how it feels...

:)

Cheers,
Paga

[S.K. Chan]

oops .. :-D

[Craig Rants]

My wife says she already has one...

[Roger Baptiste]

Yeah, after all we are supposed to be doing "monkey-business".

-R

[Deepak Extross]

Top 5 reasons to own a monkey:

5. "I couldnt work last night...my monkey was using the laptop"

4. "Sorry I'm late...my monkey was misbehaving. I had to give it a spanking!"

3. "Hey Chimp, why dont you finish off this script while I drink beer and visit naughty sites"

2. "I told you to put your job WHERE?? Honest, boss, that wasnt me..it must've been my monkey"

1. "The audit report? My monkey ate it...But it should pass through by tomorrow. I'll keep it on your desk"

[Michael Tully]

Finally found that monkey joke....
enjoy!

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.
Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the
other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water.
Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it
with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new
one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, and then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
And that my dear friends, is how company policy begins.

[Steven Sim Kok Leong]

It depends on the level the monkey stays on the tree.

Here's the classic:

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys. They are all on different limbs at different levels. Some are climbing up. Some are climbing down. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but a
bunch of assholes.

Regards.

[Josh_13]

lol. that was great. generates a lot of laughter. got a bunch of co-workers to came over and look at the page.

ok. anyone here watch the simpsons? remember when Mr.Burns locks away 100 monkeys on 100 typewriters? it was a play off of that line from a book (i think it might have been one of armistad maupin's openings...). Mr. Burns picks up the paper from one of the monkeys and reads something like: "it was the best of times it was the blurst of times" and then yells at the monkey because of the fact one of the "words" doesn't actually exist.


actually, trained and armed with a straw and a good supply of paper, that monkey would be a good way to get vengence upon those co-workers you don't like....over night it could leave "presents" on their desks, and during the day it could torment them while being out of their reach.


i've heard of the strength ratio before. it's a result of the physical structure of the muscles. relatively speaking they are much stronger. however, depending on the breed, that's not necessarily the case. ie: that gorilla can crush you like a grape without exerting stength. good thing that gorillas only fight over leadership of the pack, and take a lot of goading before they would ever attack...provided you don't look directly at them. chimps on the other hand have a very different demeanor and strength.


one last thing: please mark this N/A, the thread doesn't really ask a tech question so it's another gratitous points one.

[George_Dodds]

As the saying goes-

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys!