What do you really want for Christmas - 2002 version

[Michael Tully]

okay someone wished for it, so I hope you've been naughty but nice!

Here's the simple rules to earn points!

1. Any work stuff will get rewarded with zip
2. The best comedy will score (beware there is a sysadmin humour thread already)
3. Dumb ideas always rate well
4. No politics
5. Plans for your holiday
6. No wants to hear about who has a pager or telehone over Christmas, coz that's too bad as most will....
10 tens points for the best answer even if it's a little crude....
ANy other suggestions are welcome!
okay let go....

[Paul Sperry]

- CD-ROM rewinder. (For blondes only.)

- Virtual reality beer.

- NoseBlaster smell card -- the latest in multi-media technology. The deluxe version comes with direct-feed nostril tubes for the ultimate in virtual olfactory experience.

- True-Type font modeled on my handwriting. The last word in non-reversible encryption. (May not be exported from the country.)

- 72-inch monitor.

- 20-foot mouse extension cord - a must for the 72-inch monitor.

- Michael Jackson-to-Michael Jackson Morph screen saver -- endless variations.

- Bedpan -- Why leave your computer just for that? (Not for use with NoseBlaster.)

- The secret to what this emoticon means - }:{o

[Brian M Rawlings]

MASLOW'S MODIFIED HIERARCHY OF NERD NEEDS:

Highest Self-Actualization
|
| 2.4GHz laptop w/ DVD-RW, 80GB HD, 4GB RAM, 100Mb wireless, firewire, 15??? TFT
| super-duper graphics, running triple-boot-three kinds of Linux, games & toys galore
|
| Self-Esteem, Peer Esteem (at least a King on the ITRC forum)
|
| Social Needs & Interaction (lost cause, never mind)
|
| Safety & Security (thinks this means all known exploits locked down)
|
Most Basic Physiological (twinkies, jolt, and strong coffee ??? OK, maybe a doughnut too)


So, to answer the question of what I want for Christmas, well, I???d kind of like to know what ???Self-Actualization??? means, and whether or not it???s legal in my state???

Merry Christmas to you all! See attachment if not familar with Abraham Maslow's work...

Live Free or??? (no, that???s taken)

Live Long, And Prosper (sorry, Harry???)

--bmr

[H.Merijn Brand (procura]

Oh, and I want a complete Home Movie set, so I can watch The Two Towers (which I get for free with the 100" wall covering plasma screen and dolby surround 15 speaker set) six times without interruption, after which I can look with my children to the bonus DVD of Harry Potter and the Hidden Chamber.

[Sridhar Bhaskarla]

1. Age of Mythology for $2.99 or free
2. Bad reception on my cell phone for a week starting 21st hence differed calls and pages
3. 72 hrs a day from 21st until 29th and 2 day Christmas.
4. Insomnia from 21st until 29th
5. 12 hr day from 29th until next christmas

That will do

-Sri

[H.Merijn Brand (procura]

For the IT part, I don't care what happens at work, but I'd like to see *ALL* 1648 open bugs in the perl source code solved. Especiallia the one's I'm responsible for :)

For the domestic part, I'd like to see two christmas days without a 2 hour phone call from my mother in Law, 2 lovely children that don't quarrel, and a wife that hase no period. ()

Happy Christmas to all, and a virus-free 2003 (both IT-wise and medical) for all the loved one's (both machinery and family :)

H.Merijn

Enjoy, have FUN!

[Patrick Wallek]

I want ALL the cool cars from the latest James Bond movie (Die Another Day). The green Jaguar (XK8, I believe), the Aston Martin (complete with camoflage, ejector seat and guns / missiles) and the Ford Thunderbird.

Sounds good to me.......

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all!!!!!!!!!!!!

[John Payne_2 · Accepted solution]

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I want to sleep in just one day. Alternatively, I would like to wake up and not find myself hanging half off the bed because my kids have climbed into bed and are taking all the space on the other side of my wife...

(Just one day.)

John

[Vicente Sanchez_3]

Hello,

General Dream:
IF you don't know it, in Galicia, to the north of Spain, we have black tide, because an oil tanker, collapsed 3 weeks ago (70.000 oil tons). I would like that it had not happened. The shellfish of this part is the best in the world.

Personal Dreams:
I would like to win the lottery and to decide when to get up and what to make, of course in a good beach.

Personal Plan for holidays:
I have two girls almost 2 years old. I will pass the Christmas, taking care of them, me alone, my wife works. As you see, too amusing as to think of dinners or parties, and much less in work.

Merry Christmas

[Chris Wilshaw]

Being able to download samples etc to replace the existing sound of your car horn. Just imagine people jumping out of the way as your car snarls something unpleasant to them.


Being able to survive the 2+ days that I'll spend at my parents house, without wishing that I lived in a country where Xmas wasn't celebrated.


An uncut DVD copy of every film that's ever been released (and a big oven to burn all the ones I don't want to see).


Alcohol that doesn't cause any ill effects (apart from sillyness) no matter how much you drink.

[Stefan Farrelly]

a laptop that will work in -30C (as I need to wander around outside just to get a mobile phone connection so I can check my email) as I go to Poland every Christmas to see the wifes rellies and its always that cold!

[Stefan Schulz]

all i want to have are friendly users. I didn't break their computers, or destroy their data.

These are not my problems these are their problems. I'm the one who helps and normaly solves this problems.

So i really would like to hear words like "thanks" and "please".

Regards

Stefan

[Lisa Mauer]

All I want is the darn vpar software for my rp8400 that was promised in SEPTEMBER. Plus Stefan has a good post!
:)

[Carlos Fernandez Riera]

I want to *logoff*.



Vicente : http://www.lavozadegalicia.es is the web i use to be informed. Good collections of Photos.

[Carlos Fernandez Riera]

sORRY:





http://www.lavozdegalicia.es

[Tom Jackson]

Hi:

Good health and happiness for my family and friends!

Sounds corny, but it's the only thing that's really important.

I hope everyone has a safe, happy and healthy holiday!

Thanks to everyone in this forum who has made the past year easier to deal with. Your solutions have helped keep steem from comming out of my ears. ;)

Tom

[John Bolene]

I want to be the science officer on Enterprise. To go where no man has gone before..yada..yada..

This sci-fi stuff just is not becomming reality quickly enough for me.

[Shannon Petry]

I want to replace Bill Gates. This would allow me my ultimate dream....

Press announcement: I'm very sorry that Microsoft has duped the public all these years. Considering that 99% of our code is the same as it was in 1995, yet people have paid good money for allegidely new versions, were refunding money and closing our doors...

Press announcement: Microsoft will be adopting Linux as it's Kernel, and working with GNU and the OpenX foundation to benefit computer users...

Press announcement: Microsoft has released code that removes treadmills from our OS in all previous versions. Your legacy machines will no longer sporadically crash any non MS code....



Well..... we can all dream eh?

[fg_1]

I want my very own clone of Brittany Spears.

I also want to make sure that each enduser who
aggrevated me over the year gets a lump of coal
in their stockings.

fg

[Pete Randall]

John Bolene -

Spock or T'Pol?



Michael,

All I want is a golf game that doesn't suck 98% of the time (and a lot less snow on the ground).

Fore!!

Pete

[Pete Randall]

Actually, what I really, really want is quite simple:


sanity



for myself, of course, but mostly for the world.

Pete

[Paula J Frazer-Campbell]

Hi

Kuwait to be closer to London - My other half lives and works there.

Peace and the world to have some sense ??? and two of the words biggest arms dealer (GB and the USA) to stop bitching because a Arab nation might have chemical or nuclear weapons.

Is this a pulling the ladder up situation? ???We have big bombs but no one else is going to have them???.

I have been involved in war and saw at first hand the effects of ???Politics???. The politicians at time lose track of this and the innocent are hurt.

I will now step down from my high horse.


Wishing all a pleasant and peaceful Xmas and New Year.

Paula


Paula

[BFA6]

Hi,

A fish tank to drop the on-call phone into.

Another fish tank to drop my other half's pager into.

Lots of Eeyores and teddy bears !!!

Regards,

Hilary

[John Bolene]

A science officer does not have to be Vulcan, but they do seem to have much longer lives and much better memory than Earthlings have.

Just having the unlimited cheap energy solution will mean that folks can work for working's sake and not to work for a living just to pay the bills.

Now having a bit of Borg 7-of-9 technology to enhance memory would be really good. Think of knowing the answer to all that you have done before and possibly even from those who have gone before.

[George_Dodds]

Dear Santa...

Can i have one of these please...

http://www.sub-find.com/neptus60.htm

Thanks in advance

George.

P.S.

Whiskey and biscuit's will be on the kitchen table as usual.