What do you really want for Christmas - 2002 version

[Vincent Farrugia]

Michael,

Any email addresses, phone numbers for your wife's single friends? :-)

Vince

[H.Merijn Brand (procura]

And pictures, preferably dressed up :)

[Pete Randall]

Vince,

My first wife was Russian - you're welcome to her.

Pete

[Tom Geudens]

TO : Santa Claus
AT : Nordpole (hope YOU've got thermal underwear !)

Dear Santa,
Since I didn't get any of the stuff I asked last year (complain about sweaters ... what about getting socks with Disney figures every year ... not kidding) I've been extremely good this year.

Although this does not seem to have helped on a world-scale (I stopped watching the news altoghether so I don't know who is getting slaughtered by who at the moment) I do hope this increases my chances of getting something this year.

I would like

01. Have not's to have something ...
02. And me to have those Russian Lady's emailadresses !
03. People to live in harmony ...
04. Pixies too !
05. Youngsters to respect their elders ...

06. No chance :-) !
07. Elders to respect youngsters
08. World domination (erase that ... I think I watched "Pinky and the Brain" too much again)

09. You to get something next to all those burnt letters
10. Eat healthy, exercise regulary ... but not to die yet !
11. Aliens to beam me up this year !
12. Really, Aliens to beam me up this year !

Lacking all this, I want all forum members to read the first characters of my list top to bottem.

Greetings,
Tom Geudens

[Mike Fisher_2]

Dear Santa Tully

1] The 9 dancing ladies
2] An answer to my personal quote
3] I'm with Bill on the Guinness

Thx

P.S.
The pie & sherry awaits
The chimney is swept
I've been good all year

[Jon Guidry]

I want a HPUX system that can tell someone when the person doesn't have enough intelligence to operate it. :-)

[Michael Tully]

Okay Vince and Merjin start here. If you want more I'll get the pics posted somewhere.....

http://users.tpg.com.au/mvadt/

I'm sorry to hear about yours Pete.... In a dozen eggs there is always one bad yolk!!!

Seeing I can't find anyone to post something remotely funny I will. Warning it is a little crude, but I found it funny, and that's my opinion. If you don't like it don't read it, it is not intended to offend anyone.

[Vincent Farrugia]

I would prefer her daughter Ksenia, I'm only 23 years old lol.

http://www.bride.ru

is a very vast selection of Russian girls, of all ages, to please everyone's tastes :-)

HTH,
Vince

[Michael Tully]

I should have mentioned Tom as well in my previous post. Here's some humour to keep you all awake... enjoy!

Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in rubbish disposal. How
about I send you a f%#$ing dictionary so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the Space Ranger, at least HE can spell!

Santa
P.S. Have your mother start calling you Rain Man!
________________________
Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace And joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
________________________
Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my Mommy and Daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
What, like your dad's going to quit banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane? Tell your mom to lose some weight and I'll talk to your Daddy. Let me give you some nice Lego in the meantime and let's see if you can build up a family with those.
Santa
________________________
Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, play station, a train, some G.I. Joe's, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
I'll tell you what, I'll send you a round trip ticket to the North Pole So when you get here I can kick sense into your f@$#ing head. Who names Their kid "Francis" anyway? I bet you're gay. I'll send you the Village People album instead.

Santa

_______________________
Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for Your reindeer outside the backdoor.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the sh!ts and carrots make the deer f@rt in my face. You Want to be nice for Santa? Leave me a bottle of Johnny Walker and some Toblerone and tell your mom to wait up.

Santa

________________________
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making Toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most Of my time squeezing cocktail waitresses' ar@es, and losing money at the cr@ps table. And then one sh!tty day a year, I send toys to all you little F@$#ers!

Santa

________________________
Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that stupid? I hope my reindeer crash into your window And trample your family to death in their sleep for having such a stupid child!
I'm skipping your house.

Santa

________________________
Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

That whiney, begging sh!t may work with your folks, but that cr@p don't Fly up here. You're getting a King Cobra instead. He likes it when you pat his head.

Santa

________________________
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,

First of all, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting Your @rse whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house you live in a low-rent apartment complex in the bronx. I can get inside your sh!thole just
like all the hobo's in town do. I will mail your mom some crack the week before Christmas and she will leave me a key. I am sending you food stamps for Christmas!

Your friend, Santa

[T. M. Louah]

Just an enhanced abd(1m) command :
Advanced Boss Detector, this euphoric command have the following options:
abd [-b | -p Pager| -e | -f pretext | -d]
-b: close my Browser when my boss is around
-p: page me if the boss is looking for me
-e: send an email to my boss when am late with random lie from a list of lies (used with -f with pretexts file).
-d: run with -b to delete cached web-pages on my PC.

Note: boss stand for wife or girlfriend, no supported polygamic release yet.
Author: T&T, Copyleft to TML

Cheers!

[Pete Randall]

Michael,

The bad yolk may well have been me, for all I know. It just didn't work out and I deal with such things with what little sense of humor I have. After three tries I think I've finally got it right this time so I kid around about the previous attempts.

Didn't mean to imply anything bad about Russian woman, either.

;^)
Pete

[H.Merijn Brand (procura]

Michael, s/ji/ij/

I'm happily married, and my father talks russian. I'm not interested in leaving my wife, just pulling a leg in that I wanna see pics. I love pics. Vincent, nice site, though I realy cannot imagine that anyone is *so* desperate that you start looking for a girlfriend on a page like that.

An added christmas wish is that all those girls out there find some happiness too.

[Ravi_8]

Hi,

starting from christmas eve till 2nd Jan morning, i desparately don't want any problem while i am enjoying with famous Goan "Belu" beer on the famous Goa beaches

[ITeam]

I just want this dull aching sensation in my head to go away for a few days - and maybe to wake up on a beach where there's no phones, no TV ...

[T. M. Louah]

& no computers !!

[Bill McNAMARA_1]

Hey Mike you're welcome in my local anytime!!
Answer to your question btw... "They are among us"

[Bill McNAMARA_1]

clicked that one off a bit too quick, just to mention all, I'm off of holidays for a few weeks, next time I pop back I'll be a second time dad!

Enjoy your Christmas all,
Drive carefully,
Bill

[Patrick Wallek]

Congratulations on the new kid Bill.

That sounds like the best Christmas present one could have.

[上田 弘信]

snow...
since i never seen them.
White Christmas must be nice.
How lucky some parts of the world always get White Christmas.

Takeshi Sato

[Pete Randall]

Takeshi Soto (and Harry, too),

I'd be glad to send you some snow for Christmas, if I could figure out how - we've been getting snow since Halloween (October 31 - in case you're unfamiliar). I'm sick of it already and longing for the years where we "dreamed of a white Christmas".

Pete

[Patrick Wallek]

I know what I want!!!!

What I want for Christmas is for the ITRC Forums servers to MAGICALLY migrate from MS Windoze junk to a 64-way Superdome running HP-UX 11i and Apache. That way there would be no more mysterious timing issues, little or no performance issues and no need to reboot on a whim.

That's what I want for Christmas!!!!

[John Poff]

I've thought about this long and hard, and I know what I want for Christmas.

I want a special pair of eyeglasses that will display a red dot on any spot where somebody has, uh, made whoopee. Just think how fun and handy that could be! If there was a time filter for the lenses, say one day or a week, they would be even more handy. Go away for a business trip? Come home and fire up the magic glasses for dots created in the last week. See some red dots? You've got trouble! They would be very handy when my daughter reaches dating age too [somewhere around 30 years old I figure]. Before she climbs into the car with some slick talking teenage boy, I can pop on my special glasses and go check out his back seat. A sea of red dots? Sorry, kid. She can't go out with you! Wear them to work after a long weekend and look for any suspicious dots. Better check out that conference room!

Santa Claus is shaking his head right about now, saying "That boy ain't right!" :)

JP

[James R. Ferguson]

Hi:

OK, I'd like to have an ITRC Forum that can keep time; is fast; and doesn't recycle the same tired problems it solves (SSI, 404...etc).

Regards!

...JRF...

[Patrick Wallek]

AMEN, Brother Jim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Steven E. Protter]

I don't celebrate the holiday so, I want it to be over?

No, I like gifts same as anyone else.

I want to have a work day where I don't have to do any meetings, take any help desk calls. A day where I work on my projects and make massive progress and nobody starts picking nits or making a turf battle.

Alternatively, I'd like my request for disk space on the disk array to be fufilled, so I can finish rolling out three machines.

Or a $10,000 which I pitches already because I make $20,000 less than the median for Unix sysadmins in the US.

Or an HP-UX consulting client paying $120 an hour for work on Sundays and evenings..

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