Quotations - II

[Mike Fisher_5]

Geoff: Oh no it's not [quotation & statement]

[Ravi_8]

I was born very intelligent, education ruined me

[Pete Randall]

On computers:

Any sufficiently undocumented computer program is indistinguishable from magic.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso

A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Campbell


Poe:

A man's grammar, like Caesar's wife, must not only be pure, but above suspicion
of impurity. - Edgar Allan Poe

What care I how time advances; I am drinking ale today. - Edgar Allen Poe


Cicero:

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing
a book. - Cicero

The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the
arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to
foreign governments must be reduced if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt.
People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC


Schweitzer:

As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible
but more mysterious. - Albert Schweitzer, "Paris Notes"


Wright:

TV is chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright


Humor:

Think how stupid the average person is, then realize half of them are stupider
than that. - George Carlin

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work. - Gallagher

Look! Plain donuts, powdered donuts, ooh, even cinnamon donuts! How's THAT for freedom of choice? - Homer Simpson, The Simpsons (TV show)


And, finally, one of the great philosophers of our time: Norm from the TV show "Cheers":

Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Alright, but stop me at one... make that one-thirty.

Woody: What's shakin' mister Peterson?
Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins.

Woody: Can I draw you a beer, Mr. P.?
Norm: I know what they look like, just give me one.

Sam: Whatcha up to Norm?
Norm: My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.

Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

Sam: Beer, Norm?
Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good.

Sam: What's the story, Norm?
Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.

Norm: I think the most important thing in this world is love. And do you
know what I love, Sammy?
Sam: Beer, Norm?
Norm: (looks at watch) Yeah, sure, just a small one.



Cheers!

Pete

[Mike Fisher_5]

Some more

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

[James R. Ferguson]

Hi:

This is an old favorite of mine...

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."

(Henry David Thoreau)

Regards!

...JRF...

[T G Manikandan]

"We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."

John W. Gardner

[T G Manikandan]

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.

[harry d brown jr]

A WISE MAN

Years ago someone told me this story.

A reporter interviewed Albert Einstein.
At the end of the interview,
the reporter asked if he could have Einstein's phone number so he could call if he had further questions.

???Certainly??? replied Einstein. He picked up the phone directory and looked up his phone number, then wrote it on a slip of paper and handed it to the reporter.

Dumbfounded, the reporter said,
"You are considered to be the smartest man in the world and you can't remember your own phone number????

Einstein replied,
???Why should I memorize something when I know where to find it????



My quote: "Any one can write a program, but not everyone can be a programmer"
harry brown

live free or die
harry

[Radim Jarosek]

Hi,

I like this one.

"Never be afraid to tell the world who you are."

Radim

[Angus Crome]

My quote (I think)

Those who are in a hurry, soon have nowhere to go.


Speaking literally, of course;
The electronic leash of death must be flung far from the masses in order to recover our once proud dignity.
"Down with pagers !!!!!!!!!!"

[A. Clay Stephenson]

You can observe a lot by watching --- Yogi Berra.

[Mike Fisher_5]

More Yogi Berra
Courtesy of Gooooooooooogle

My favourite:
He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious

Some more gems:
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore

If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?

Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours

[T G Manikandan]

When you laugh everyone laughs with you-
when you cry, you cry alone

[Pete Randall]

Hmmm, Sports Figures, ey?

How about Casey Stengel (baseball player/manager with the NY Yankees among others):

"The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided".

"There comes a time in every man's life and I've had many of them."

"All right, everybody line up alphabetically according to your height."

"When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out."

"I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks in batting practice."




Or maybe John McKay (1st coach of the hapless Tampa Bay Buccaneers football team):

On the execution of the Bucs offense: "I think it's a good idea."

On the weaknesses of linebacker Hugh Green: "He's not twins."

On place-kicker Pete Rajecki having a bad camp with the Bucs because McKay made him nervous: "I don't think he's got much of a future here, because I plan on going to all the games."

On training camp: "It's shattering when a player loses interest in camp. When you lose your desire to stand around and eat steaks, you lose everything."

Asked if Lynn Cain of the Atlanta Falcons was ready to play against the Bucs: "Let me know if Cain is able."

On why coaching an expansion team is a religious experience: "You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is 'No'."

On the Bucs early games: "Every time I look up, it seems we're punting."

On O.J. Simpson carrying the ball 47 times in a USC game (McKay coached at USC prior to the Bucs): "He doesn't belong to a union. Anyway, the ball doesn't weigh that much."


Pete

[Mike Fisher_5]

Wots an intentional walk?
[I've done a drunkards walk im maths]

Have enough years passed to mention the NY Met[ropolitan]s with impunity ?

[Pete Randall]

Mike,

A walk (also known as a "base on balls") is when the pitcher fails to throw balls in the strike zone: a ball. After 4 balls, the batter advances to first base: a walk. An intentional walk happens when they prefer not to pitch to a particular hitter (for whatever reason) and deliberately throw four straight pitches outside the strike zone.

I'd try to come up with a cricket analogy for you, but I don't know enough cricket to even try!


Pete

[Bill Hassell]

"Computers should work for people,
not the other way around."

"There are only two types of computer users:

Those that have lost data,

and those that are going to lose data."

[Mike Fisher_5]

Pete
Thanks - understood

Well you mentioned cricket
Here's a simplified explanation of the game:

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out

Sometimes you get men still in and not out
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in

There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out
When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game

***
QUOTES:

Robin Williams
"Cricket is basically baseball on valium"

Conservative politician Lord Mancroft
"Cricket is a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity"

[Pete Randall]

Mike,

That's priceless (almost reminds me of Abbot and Costello's "who's on first"). Please tell me you borrowed the quote - if you came up with it yourself, I must surrender to your "superior" sense of humor (you Brits and your command of the language and all, you know - cheerio, pip-pip!).


Pete "Still Chuckling" Randall

[Sridhar Bhaskarla]

???Because I am free, unconditioned, whole -not the part, not the relative, but the whole Truth that is eternal???I desire those, who seek to understand me to be free; not to follow me, not to make out of me a cage which will become a religion, a sect. Rather should they be free from all fears???from the fear of religion, from the fear of salvation, from the fear of spirituality, from the fear of love, from the fear of death, from the fear of life itself. As an artist paints a picture because he takes delight in that painting, because it is his self-expression, his glory, his well-being, so I do this and not because I want anything from anyone."

-Jiddu Krishnamurthy

Cheers,
Sri

[Steven E. Protter]

I have two:

There are no compacts between lions and men, and wolves and labs have no concord.

Homer

Its deep and may have something to do with the bibical prophecy about the lions lying down with the lambs.


On Assumptions:

If you assume I configured the system the way you expect you have a few choices.

1) You an test your assumption and see if its true.

2) You can ask me if your assumptions is true, then its no longer an assumption.

3) You can blindly rely on that assumption and become the first three letters of teh word.

Steven E. Protter
Based on something I heard.

SEP

[Michael Steele_2]

See a lot of 'Vince Lombardi' on office picture boards. Salesmen love em. Now many of these are cliche.

PREPARATION

"The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender."

DISCIPLINE

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit."

WINNING

"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious."

http://olympia.fortunecity.com/white/225/vince.htm

If you've never read the book 'Instant Replay' by Jerry Kramer...

[Yogeeraj_1]

"Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success."
--Oscar Wilde.

[Mike Fisher_5]

Pete
***
Thanks for the reminder...
"Who's on first(?)" is one of the finest pieces of comic dialogue EVER written
I've got it on vinyl - a treasure
Any one who doesn't know it needs to get gooogling
[the script is great, but you need to HEAR it to appreciate the delivery]
***
Nope - I can't write that well
***
But this guy - now he's special...
Yank/Brit fusion

RAYMOND CHANDLER
b. 1888 in Chicago. Early years in Ireland. Matured in London. Moved to Los Angeles in 1917

QUOTATIONS [Philip Marlowe]

It was a blonde
A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window

I filled a pipe and reached for the packet of paper matches
I lit the pipe carefully
She watched that with approval
Pipe smokers were solid men
She was going to be disappointed in me

The wet air was as cold as the ashes of love

I like smooth shiny girls, hardboiled and loaded with sin

Dead men are heavier than broken hearts

???Guns never settle anything,??? I said
???They are just a fast curtain to a bad second act???

What rattled and thumped was a knotted towel full of melting ice cubes
Somebody who loved me very much had put them on the back of my head
Somebody who loved me less had bashed in the back of my skull
It could have been the same person. People have moods

Mike "gumshoe" Fisher

[Pete Randall]

Mike,

You mean to say that you actually have time to read? With all those pubs between work and home? Or do you read in the pubs?

;^)

Pete