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Quotations - II

 
Mike Fisher_5
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Pete:

In the pub - Thru the bottom of the glass?
No course not the pub is for...
Shaggy dog stories
Tall stories
& Outright lies

Have you spotted my query in the Storage Forum?

Regards
Mike
Don't get mad - get naked
Pete Randall
Outstanding Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Mike,

That's what I thought - I couldn't picture you in the corner with a pint of Guiness and Philip Marlowe.

No, sorry, I rarely visit other than the HP-UX forum. If you post there and it gets moved, I follow it, but if you post directly to other forums in never appears on my radar screen. I'll go check.


Pete "You could have at least posted the link" Randall


Pete
Massimo Bianchi
Honored Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

"A man on the moon in not interesting like a woman in the sun"

heard somewhere long ago....
Pete Randall
Outstanding Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Mike,

Sorry for the previous jab - I now see that you just updated an earlier question - I've responded.

Pete "Damn, my foot tastes awful" Randall


Pete
Pete Randall
Outstanding Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

U.Siva,

Please accept my apologies for using your thread like a chat room. I'm sure you will limit the points on the off-topic responses accordingly. Thanks.


Mike,

My e-mail address can be found in my profile. You'll have to break the encryption code but, hey, you needed a challenge anyway, right?


Pete


Pete
Ian Dennison_1
Honored Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

A few of my favourites,...

Women; you can't live with 'em,... pass the beer nuts.
Norm from Cheers

Peg: Did you miss me, Honey?
Al: With every bullet so far.
Married with Children

Null points please! Ian "Defender of Chivalry" Dennison
Building a dumber user
John Collier
Esteemed Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Not sure who it???s from. Maybe someone can enlighten me???

???Matrimony??? It???s not a word, it a sentence!???

(OK, so I used that on another thread??? SUE ME??? I just like the quote)


Going back to Norm from Cheers:

??? It???s a dog-eat-dog world and I???m wearing Milk Bone underwear???

Which of us hasn???t felt that way at some time or another??

Al from Married With Children:

???Women. You can???t live with them. The end!???


Not sure of the source, but:

???I have missed my ex wife, but my aim is improving??????


One of my own:

???Just because I???m ugly doesn???t mean that I???m stupid as well???

I???ve also shortened that to:

???I may be ugly, but I???m not stupid???.


Thanks for the thread. I needed the smiles ;-)
"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." Stephen Krebbet, 1793-1855
John Dvorchak
Honored Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

I didn't have time to read all of them so if this is redundant, I appologize:

"No matter how good looking she is, there is some guy that is tired of her sh*t"

Anon.
If it has wheels or a skirt, you can't afford it.
Michael Steele_2
Honored Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Gosh John, that's an excellent one. (* And so true. *)
Support Fatherhood - Stop Family Law
Mike Fisher_5
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Contrasts:

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning
[Aristotle Onassis]

Women are OK, but you can't beat the real thing
[Anon - but, probably a sheep farmer :)]

Don't get mad - get naked
Tim Sanko
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Several points to ponder.

"Women can't live with them, Can't Kill them"
from True Lies - Tom Arnold's character.

I love my wife, she'd kill me if she caught me with anyone else. Bobby Collins

"I love my dog" Bobby Collins also...

Snappy answers to mundane statements.

"Have a wonderful life" - Ans. "Can't I'm married"

"Have a good night" - Ans "My wife would kill me."

"Have a good time" - see above.

While picking up beer. "Woulds you like that in the bag?" ans "God No, she's mean enough sober."

Democratic congressman to this taxpayer on 2002 tax rebate. "Don't spend it all in one place." - ans. "If I wouldn't have to spend it on food, I give it to the other party."

Thievery is where you take money from an unwilling victim. Taxation is what again???

If I weren't so smart I wouldn't be in this predicament. - Lucielle Ball.


This is so simple anyone can do it. (aren't these in famous last words).

Enjoy
Tim
Tim Sanko
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Several points to ponder.

"Women can't live with them, Can't Kill them"
from True Lies - Tom Arnold's character.

I love my wife, she'd kill me if she caught me with anyone else. Bobby Collins

"I love my dog" Bobby Collins also...

Snappy answers to mundane statements.

"Have a wonderful life" - Ans. "Can't I'm married"

"Have a good night" - Ans "My wife would kill me."

"Have a good time" - see above.

While picking up beer. "Woulds you like that in the bag?" ans "God No, she's mean enough sober."

Democratic congressman to this taxpayer on 2002 tax rebate. "Don't spend it all in one place." - ans. "If I wouldn't have to spend it on food, I give it to the other party."

Thievery is where you take money from an unwilling victim. Taxation is what again???

If I weren't so smart I wouldn't be in this predicament. - Lucielle Ball.


This is so simple anyone can do it. (aren't these in famous last words).

Enjoy
Tim
Tim Sanko
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Several points to ponder.

"Women can't live with them, Can't Kill them"
from True Lies - Tom Arnold's character.

I love my wife, she'd kill me if she caught me with anyone else. Bobby Collins

"I love my dog" Bobby Collins also...

Snappy answers to mundane statements.

"Have a wonderful life" - Ans. "Can't I'm married"

"Have a good night" - Ans "My wife would kill me."

"Have a good time" - see above.

While picking up beer. "Woulds you like that in the bag?" ans "God No, she's mean enough sober."

Democratic congressman to this taxpayer on 2002 tax rebate. "Don't spend it all in one place." - ans. "If I wouldn't have to spend it on food, I give it to the other party."

Thievery is where you take money from an unwilling victim. Taxation is what again???

If I weren't so smart I wouldn't be in this predicament. - Lucielle Ball.


This is so simple anyone can do it. (aren't these in famous last words).

Enjoy
Tim
Tim Sanko
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Sorry for the repeats, but here is my final group of favorites from the occasionally bright blond I married.

Tim : Say those three little words that make me walk on air.
Kelly:Go hang yourself.

Tim :Why do you keep arguing even when you know you are wrong.
Kelly: That is no time to give up on a perfectly good argument.

Tim :Do you think you know what you are doing.
Kelly:I know what I am doing. (at this time she plugs very poorly rewired lamp into the socket. Zap!!! Circuit breakers trip lamp gives off smoke)
Tim :What did you think you were doing.
Kelly:Getting a new lamp!

Tim
Balaji N
Honored Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

I was intelligent. Education ruined me.

The place where a train stops, is called a railway staion. The place where a bus stops, is called a bus station. The place where i work, has a work station. :-(

some hilarious ones.
-balaji
Its Always Important To Know, What People Think Of You. Then, Of Course, You Surprise Them By Giving More.
Zafar A. Mohammed_1
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

"Either Lead or Follow; otherwise you are hollow"

Zafar
John Collier
Esteemed Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Anybody know who it was that said:

???Marriage is a give and take relationship. Sometimes you just have to give it a rest and take a break???.

I need to find that person and shake their hand???
"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." Stephen Krebbet, 1793-1855
Mike Fisher_5
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans
Yiddish proverb
Don't get mad - get naked
Tim Sanko
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Life with a Blonde resemble this somedays.

Kelly: I just called to tell you how much I love you.

Tim: what is it and how much does it cost.

Kelly: No I just called to brighten your day.

Tim: Put it on American Express.

Kelly: OK! Bye, Love you!!!
doug mielke
Respected Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

I would rather have a full bottle in front of me...
than a full frontal lobotomy.
W.C. Epperson
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

"Good judgement is a result of experience. Experience is a result of bad judgement."

R.E. Lee
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence, my friends call it." --Poe
W.C. Epperson
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

And from my first assigned HP SE about 20 years ago:

"The problem with some people today is that they've been educated beyond their intelligence."

--Ray Kelley
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence, my friends call it." --Poe
W.C. Epperson
Trusted Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Signals don't kill programs. Programs kill programs.
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence, my friends call it." --Poe
Robert Salter
Respected Contributor

Re: Quotations - II

Here's some from Steven Wright;

Clones are people two.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that
why people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


And one of my favorites;

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.-- Abraham Lincoln (also attr. Confucius)



Bob
Time to smoke and joke
rbiorn
Advisor

Re: Quotations - II

"You cannot achieve anything beyond your wildest dreams --- if you don't have any wild dreams"

I believe it was Aristotle

Rgds
Ragnar Biorn
"You cannot achieve anything beyond your wildest dreams --- if you don't have any wild dreams"